Cuddles, snuggles

You may be worried that your child is not talking as much as you think he or she should be. But what your child wants most is you. Don’t let worries get in the way of cuddles and snuggles and conversation with your child and having fun.

You may have a job understanding what he or she is saying. Or he or she may not be saying anything at all, or not saying two sounds together, like saying spoon as FOON, when sea and pea both sound fine on their own. Putting them together is something different. It is called ‘clustering’. Significantly, many languages don’t allow clusters at all. English happens to allow a lot of clustering. That is one of the many things which the child learning English has to learn. It is not as obvious as it might seem.

Some people may tell you or you may read on the internet that your child is being lazy or that he or she is attention seeking or trying to get you riled. You don’t have to listen.

Children want to talk, and talk like grown ups, just like they want to walk and run and have fun.

All the time you are together you can have fun and interesting talk and enjoy songs and stories and conversation. In what may be a surprising, paradoxical way, conversation is not the same as being able to talk.

The way you talk is important too. There is something which used to be called ‘motherese’ and is now mostly called ‘child directed speech and language ‘ or some version of this.

There may be things which are important for you. You may think that your child is getting the wrong idea about something. If there is something which has to be said, keep what you say to little bits of information, one at a time. Listen to see if your child is understanding. Or let your child be part of your adult conversation.

In these ways you are helping to solve your child’s problem.

If you are worried, you can usefully keep a diary.

If your child needs speech and language therapy, you have a special contribution.

What your child wants mostis you.

If you are a biological parent, your child would not exist without you. But whether you are a biological parent or not, you are still one of the most important people in your child’s life. It’s a privilege and a responsibility. Cuddles and snuggles are extra special.